Archive for December, 2010

WHY?!?!?!

December 7th, 2010

wendy's new fries

What the hell were they thinking? What in the name of Dave Thomas were these assholes thinking??? You don’t mess with a classic. You don’t fix what isn’t broken. You don’t desecrate that which is sacred… yet the powers that be at Wendy’s have done just that. After 41 beautiful, magical years, Wendy’s fries are gone. Dead. Departed.

Whether it be pressure from the health nazis or from the current blasphemous trend of trying to turn fast food restaurants into mock upscale eateries, Wendy’s R&D cracked (or maybe they’re just on crack) and pitched out our Earthly ambrosia for a product that I hesitate to even bestow with the honor of being called a variety of french fries. Arthur Shawcross must be spinning in his grave.

Wendy’s is a working man’s haven. It’s a retreat of the down to earth everyman/everywoman who values substance over style and delicious fare over conceited airs. We aren’t a crowd of people who want potato skin heavy fries with “sea salt”. The health nazis and food snobs of the world are not an open minded bunch. They aren’t just content to fritter away their food lives on inane bullshit and leave the rest of us to eat in peace and happiness. They won’t be happy until we’re all a bunch of miserable, emaciated assholes eating food with no flavor designed for an audience that isn’t watching.

Loyal readers of preserve the 80s I urge you, we must unite to fight this unjust french fry revolution. I want all of you to come together as one voice to let Wendy’s know we want our fries back. One and all must gather round their local Wendy’s in a silent and dignified vigil to demand justice. Send in pictures of your brave and valiant actions and they will see the light of day on preserve the 80s and on youtube as well. Together we will make our voices heard and reclaim what is ours.

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